btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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