He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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