I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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