a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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