i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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