she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
