Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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