I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
