Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
