Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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