even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
im calling her cock vulture from now on
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
