He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Randomize
