when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize