We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Randomize
