Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
