Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
