so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
