is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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