dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
