"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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