bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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