So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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