Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
