pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
