I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
