Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
