I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
