awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
