so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
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