mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
