Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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