He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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