take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
So squirting runs in the family.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Randomize