i need an iv and a liver transplant
you would pick up someone in the library
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
