If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
areolas are like halos for boobs.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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