Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
