Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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