I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
