trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
