Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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