So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
