Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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