Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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