do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
We just shotgunned beers for America
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
