if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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