How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
