where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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