Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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