Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
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