My hair reeks of homosexuality.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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