My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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