Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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