Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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