you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
