So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Randomize
