so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
