He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
