dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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