Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You need a sexual gate keeper
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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