that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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