I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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