they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
