So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
